God is always just around the corner January 18, 2007
Shareen, a friend and mentor to me, shared a wonderful story a couple of weeks ago and our women’s bible study. She said that when her oldest son was just a small boy, he had a tendency of running off in the stores. He wouldn’t look back, he would just let his curiosity take him wherever he pleased. Shareen would reprimand him for taking off and warn him of the dangers of leaving mommy’s sight. Still, the boy would run off following whatever it would be that would catch his eyes. One day Shareen realized that the boy needed to learn his lesson. She let him run off on his own. She always knew exactly where he was but she stayed just out of his sight. It wasn’t before to long the boy realized he was all alone. Fear got the best of him and he sat down and began sobbing, “Mommy! mommy!” Of course mommy was just around the corner and she knew where he was all along. The boy needed to feel lost and alone before he could learn his lesson. Isn’t amazing how God relates to us in the same way. Sometimes when we just aren’t learning our lessons, he lets us get good and lost. We find ourselves crying out to Him for help and the whole time He is just waiting around the corner patiently for us. Then he comes running to our rescue.
Finding God’s Grace in a Temper Tantrum January 18, 2007
There isn’t anything that makes my blood boil more than one of my children throwing themselves down in a tantrum. They will kick and scream and be outright disobedient. I usually react harshly because as their parent I feel I deserve respect. After all, I’m the one who went through the pain of putting them into this world, right? For months and months I responded to my children’s fits of rage with fits of rage. For months I was angry and then wondered why my children reacted in anger.
The tantrums started to come more frequently and I began to fear that I had finally lost control. My husband and I, in desperation called our pastor for help. He came over to our house and to my surprise, sat us down and asked which one US was so angry. He explained that our children are our fruit. If the fruit is bad, you can’t blame it on the fruit itself but the tree that nourishes it. Wow! That hit me like a ton of bricks right smack in the forehead. It is amazing how God will use our children to get our attention. For so long I was angry at God, my husband, my children, and anyone else in my life because I felt that I wasn’t getting what I deserved. I was especially angry at God because I couldn’t feel His love. I thought he was angry with me because I couldn’t hear his voice anymore. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
A couple of weeks went by and as I called out to God with all my heart, broken and desperate before Him, He was so very faithful to pour out His grace in my life. The children’s tantrums during this time didn’t slow down at all. In fact, they increased. However, God’s grace enabled me to react differently. One instance, that I will never forget started when my oldest daughter flew into a rage over a decision I made that she didn’t agree with. Her tantrum was over such a ridiculous thing that I could feel my own anger growing by the second. It was at this point that I called out to God in desperation. I had to use my entire body to restrain her for fear that in her temper she would kick my stomach (I was three months pregnant at the time). I carried her to the couch and tried to talk to her to understand why she was feeling the way she was. However, the more I tried to talk, the more she screamed. There was nothing more I could do and I silently prayed to God for help. As I sat there holding my first born in my lap, the most amazing words came out of my mouth. I said “Avigale. Do you know how much mommy loves you. Sit and listen to how much mommy loves you.” I began to share with her how much she meant to me, and how special she was and how thankful I was that God had blessed me with such a wonderful daughter. Tears streamed down my face and almost instantly my daughter was quiet. She wasn’t screaming or kicking. Her eyes were wide as she just sat there listening to how much I loved her. It was at that instant that I realized that it was God that was speaking directly to me. He was telling me “Brooke, listen to how much I love you. I know you don’t understand me at times but I love you so much.” I felt as If I were sitting on my heavenly fathers lap just soaking in His love. I was completely captivated, as was my daughter. God knew what my daughter Avi needed to hear, and He knew what I needed to hear.
God is so good to us. He is such a loving father and He knows exactly what each of us needs at exactly the right times. Whenever I face a trial, or “tantrum” in my life, I don’t view it as God abandoning me. I see it as an act of His grace. He gives us trials because He knows in the end when we rely on His grace, we become more like Him. He wants to be closer to us. He longs for us to be near Him and the only way this can happen is if we become more like Him. And the only way to become more like Him is to face trials and to rely on His grace to get us through them.
The Value of Modesty January 9, 2007
“I also want Women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” 1 Timothy 2:9-10
Over the last few years I’ve been thinking a lot about modesty. What does it mean and what does it have to do with the everyday Christian women? The subject peaked my interest after reading “Every Man’s Battle” by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. Before reading this book I had no idea that men were so visually stimulated. For some odd reason I had this euphoric idea that when a man saw a women in attire that accentuated her curves (short skirt, tight top, low cut, etc.) he would say to himself “what a good looking women. She sure is pretty.” However, I am to the understanding now that while a man may say those things he is most likely thinking other things also. I don’t mind other men thinking that I’m attractive. What girl doesn’t want to feel beautiful? However, I do mind if men are having lustful thoughts. That’s what really started me thinking about modesty and has sent me spinning down a long road of questions.
Question #1: What does it matter what I wear? Men should be disciplined enough to control their own thoughts!
That was honestly my first reaction. “Bunch of dirty pigs! Why do I need to change the way I do things. They just need to learn to keep their minds out of the gutter!” After my anger subsided and I took the time to carefully pray about the situation, I was able to reexamine the situation a little better. I think it is true that Christian men need to be disciplined in their thought life. Men need to be controlled enough to look away when a scantly dressed woman passes by. But to be able to get to that point, men must undergo an Armageddon sized battle. They are faced with women at work, women in the grocery store, women jogging on the road, women at the mall, all dressed in a way that is very, very visually stimulating. As a Christian woman, I think it is the least I can do to help out in their battle. I don’t think that a man should have to walk into a church service and have to face the same battles that he wrestles with in the world. It is my hope that by choosing to dress modestly men will be able to take a break from their everyday rigorous battles.
Question (comment) #2: Men will still have lustful thoughts even if I dress modestly.
This maybe true but at least we are doing our part to help out. The rest is up to them and is between them HaShem.
Question #3: What is modest clothing?
A Burka. Just joking. I think that is personal preference. Can a woman wear pants and be modest? I sure think so! I think it is more difficult but I certainly believe it is possible. It is my preference to wear dresses that are at least below my knees. I think it’s more difficult for a man to say “Nice rear!” when a woman is in a dress rather than pants. And when the dress is below the knees it is more difficult for a man to say “Hot legs!” Again, these are my personal preferences. There is nothing in scripture indicating that a woman has to wear a dress. But I do think it is vitally important that as women, we are aware of the impact that our clothes have on the men that we encounter on a day to day basis.
Question #4: What is the value of modest clothing to our daughters?
This is the question I have been pondering on the most recently. Am I doing my girls a terrible injustice by having them wear dresses? We live in a society where sex is the god. The pressures are everywhere to be the perfect sex goddess. Literally almost everywhere we look the picture of the perfect woman is staring us down. In turn, as women we feel the pressure to have the perfect body and as hard as we try, there is always something that doesn’t meet our cultures ideal perfect woman. I’ll never be tall enough, my chest will never be big enough, my nose is to long, my hips are to wide. A woman can go insane trying to be the woman she sees on the t.v. screen. This tragedy has bred a generation of women that are so insecure that they think the only way to be beautiful is to show more skin. I have fought this same kind of insecurtiy for years. I don’t want my girls to have to feel the same way. My hope and prayer is that by putting an emphasis on modesty even at a young age (my girls are 4 and 3) they will in turn put their focus on inward beauty. The dresses are just a way of being modest and feminine at the same time. Women and young women don’t need to be half naked to be beautiful. I believe, and from my experience thus far in modest dress, my children will be more respected for who they really are by wearing modest clothing.
Question (comment) #5: But your kids won’t be able to run and play and ride bikes in their dresses.
I have found that nothing will stop my 4 and 3 year old from having fun. My girls run, jump, ride their bikes, play at the park, and do everything else normal, healthy children do. In fact, they love wearing their dresses. For the first month that we started to wear dresses my girls would come up to me in the morning and ask “Mommy, do we get to be princesses like you today?” My answer is would always be “Of course girls. Everyday you get to be a princess.” It’s funny how the girls equate wearing dresses to being royalty. As God’s children they should look and act like daughters of The King.
If there are any more questions that you would like for me to address, please feel free to comment on my blog. I will do my best to answer them. I don’t mind criticism. Sometimes it does me good to see things from a different perspective. Thank you!
